How Parents Influence a Child’s Success in Chess
What’s the role of a parent in chess?
Many think it’s financial support, driving kids to coaching classes and tournaments. Of course, those are important. It’s obvious.
But there are so many other ways parents shape a child’s chess without them even knowing.
I remember coming across 2 similar situations where a single decision of the parent produced 2 opposite results.
Source: Freepik
Story 1 – ‘How can you??
Once at a tournament, I had just finished my game and sat down to enjoy my chai. A few meters away was a parent-son duo. As I was sipping my chai, I could overhear their conversation. It turns out that the child had just lost their game to a lower-rated. Instead of consoling, the parent was doing the exact opposite, scolding –
“How can you lose to a lower-rated?? How can you?? Learn something from how your friend ABC plays.”
It was extremely disheartening to hear. No wonder the child’s tournament didn’t go well after that.
A few days later, I stopped seeing him at other local events…
What do you think – what’s the lesson the boy got after losing to a lower-rated player?
Let me share another similar case.
Story 2 – Just keep going!
This time I was playing another one-day Rapid. A boy had just lost to a lower-rated player. After signing the scoresheet, he ran to his parents and wanted to leave the playing hall as soon as possible…
His mother understood the situation. Instead of giving in to her son’s demands to leave the tournament, she encouraged him to carry on – “Forget this round. Just play another one. We’ll see what happens later…”
No judgment, no scolding. Only a simple message!
Source: Freepik
The boy hesitated but agreed. He showed up to the next round – that’s a BIG WIN!
Imagine – someone who wanted to quit the tournament a round ago was now on the board, ready to fight!
And when the game started, the boy blitzed out his moves. I was sitting on a nearby board and could sense the boy just wanted to finish the game fast without caring about the result.
And you know what happened?
In just 10 minutes, the boy WON the game! Surprisingly quick! And all of a sudden, he forgot about his disappointing loss! His confidence was back.
Later he played so well, that he even stood 1st in his age category in that tournament!
What do you think – what’s the life lesson he got when his mother stopped him from leaving the tournament?🙂
I hope you get the point.
Small decisions make a big difference.
In both stories, the children lost the game to a weaker player. In both stories, the loss hit their confidence and passion for the game.
But one story ended in tragedy and the other ended with the boy feeling confident and victorious!
How can this be??
It’s all thanks to the small decisions of the parents!!
They seem very insignificant at first. But they trigger a chain of events like a domino.
And it’s in those little moments, parents shape their child’s chess career and unknowingly teach life lessons!
